I have got my best suit out, ironed he who helped create them a shirt and we have both had our weekly bath. We have to look at our best as we are off to see the bank manager tomorrow. Truth is we need a loan, and a substantial one at that. Twin girl and boy turn five in less than seven weeks and they need a party and we need a loan in order to lay one on.
When did parties evolve from having a few mates round playing pass the parcel wrapped in newspaper to a full on catered affair with entertainment. I had a magician once – it was at my wedding! I had to wait until I found the man of my dreams, get knocked up and force him to marry me before I could have such luxuries but for children it is the norm. Had I have realised five years ago the stress this would cause me not to mention the expense I would have kept my legs crossed a few more months to ensure the birthday didn’t fall right after the bottomless purse event that is Christmas.
I mean, jaysus, its obscene, we have held the ceremonious party in our house a few times but after last year we swore never again. It was a blur of four-year olds racing around my three bed terrace abode screaming just because they like the sound and hitting each other with balloon swords. It took me a good bottle of Oyster Bay (oh yes the good stuff) and he who helped create them a double whiskey to be able to even attempt the clean up afterwards. The dog still whimpers whenever we mention the word party.
Do you know what I did for my birthday this year? Sod all! Well kids threw me a party consisting of them and he who helped create them and a cake which I bought myself but the grand total spent on the event was fifteen quid. We will be lucky with the twins if we come out of it with change from a monkey.
First we have to pay to use the freezing cold hall. Despite the fact that the children running around yelling will act as solar heating therefore saving them money. Then we have to find someone to entertain them as quite frankly the idea of playing musical bumps for two hours bores me. Now these ‘entertainers’ aren’t clowns you know. At the going rate of hundred quid an hour plus expenses they all live in mansions by the sea laughing at us poor fool parents who have not yet realised that applying bad makeup and running round with a feather duster ensures you more return than the current stock market.
Then the food, now here we have a dilemma, do we go for appearances and hand out beautiful sandwiches made on wholemeal, accompanied by carrot and cucumber sticks and hummus and olives. Or do we go for child popularity and head down the pound shop and stock up on e numbers in a bag and slap a bit of Philly between some bread? Either way with the guest list my daughter is currently compiling it will cost the earth.
I have found one money saver, rather than invites I am just going to stick a sign on the school gate saying ‘free childcare for two hours at the hall’ I will presume everyone is coming.
Trust me you don’t want to know my opinion on party bags…………
I think the big problem is adult peer pressure.
I used to be one of those who made a really big deal. 5 kids later, I don’t really care what anyone thinks. My kids have learned the value of money and that sometimes you can’t have everything you want.
I find it so sad that kids now need a big deal, loads of pressies instead of celebrating the day with family in a meaningful way and being appreciative and grateful for whatever gifts they get.
Wishing you loads of luck!
I don’t need a party bag as the 2 hours child care sounds great! Plus I know how good you are at party entertainment thanks to the life saver you were at our sumer garden party (one advantage of the drunken christmas party!!!) As always love the posting Clare xx
I went to a kids party recently in a village hall where the parents had just hired an ‘it’s a knockout’ style bouncy thing and it had only cost £100 to hire. And the kids loved it! I guess it depends where you live but could be worth looking into? Also went to another one where the parents MUST have been teachers. They invited the whole class (about 30) and had different stations set up around the hall with different activites at each station. Arts/crafts, whack a rat with sweetie prizes. Decorating discuits etc. They had approx 15 mins at each station (all in manageable groups) and then food before just having ‘wild time’ to music for last half hour?
Maybe, if you had the courage to abandon the whole party bag nonsense, the other parents would fall on their knees and thank you. You would all, forever, be released from the blackmail and when news leaked out, house prices in your child’s catchment area would rocket.
I am not that brave!!!!
I have palpitations just thinking about kids parties, and boy child is only 19 months.
Is changing religion to one that forbids birthdays and the celebration thereof justified?
Best of British, and I think E numbers all the way, if your offering free childcare, make the parents pay with tanked up kids up all night!
I’m with you – although I do still part with the cash every year, whilst grumbling about it. I made the very silly mistake if marrying a man with a birthday in the first week in December and then giving birth to another.
This year we did football at the local leisure centre. My son and his friends (age 6) loved it and it was stress free for me.
I was very lucky earlier in the year as the bloke that runs the kids Sat morning sports activities ran a party for Monkey at the hall. He did it for nothing as he was considering doing parties. I think he’s decided not to – not because he didn’t like doing it cos he did but I think he realised how much it would eat into his weekend and he’s newly married. I gave him some beer in the end and did the food myself.
Missy Woo saw an entertainer at a friend’s party and he was quite cheap but he was booked. The ones that weren’t – well the price just went up and up. In the end, we decided to go for a local playcentre, an early start so it wasn’t too crowded. have had parties at playcentres before now and that cost me £160, all in bar the cake.
Local leisure centres are also worth a look;their prices can be reasonable too.
I feel for you we have done the parties with my niece now the nephew has started, and we have had two at home. They are stressful, very stressful good luck hope you get it all sorted! xx