In Defense of the Gina Ford Mum

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I never got lucky with my babies sleeping habits, I don’t have natural sleepers, I don’t have angelic babies (well bb comes close) I don’t have quiet babies, I have contented little babies.

I never realised five years ago that by waddling into Waterstones and picking up a copy of ‘The Contented Little Baby’, that I would be immersing myself into a long running parenting war. Also I didn’t realise how much cheaper the book was on amazon, I could have saved myself £3 and my double bump could have rested with its favourite plate of pie and chips.

For anyone ignorant to who Mrs Ford is, she is a nanny turned childcare expert who wrote a book on how to get your baby to sleep through the night from an early age and develops routines that should make your baby a contented little sausage.

My midwife told a girlfriend that she should throw Mrs Ford’s book in the bin as it encouraged practises the NHS frowned upon. When she came to see how me and the twins were getting on she saw the well thumbed book on the coffee table and she told me how important it was with twins to get a routine and wasn’t I a clever mum for achieving it quickly!

I will concede that Gina’s book reads a little like an idiots guide to babies. Which worked fabulously for me as when the stork dropped two at once in my arms I was like a blind eejit. I needed something to tell me what I needed to do to have happy bambinos and some much needed sleep.

My kids all follow gina’s routines and all sleep well which means me and he who helped create them still manage to smile at each other occasionally with eight hours kip tucked under our belt.

For the record I have never left my child to get unnecessarily distressed that’s not really the aim of a contented baby mummy; clue is in title of book. I do dictate the times they wake and sleep, and I am greeted by a rather lovely toothless grin every time I give them a nudge awake!

However I read lots about what a harsh mother I am for having ‘gina’ babies. A minority of the mothers who don’t follow Gina get rather upset about her routines and don’t seem afraid to show it.

The way I see it is, some mums use the naughty corner and others take a toy away when their child is naughty. Some mums puree baby food whilst others happily hand their babies a whole apple to suck on. Some read, follow and love The Contented Baby routines, some co-sleep, some feed on demand, some have no sleep.

Each to your own, parenting skills and style are immensely personal and suit each individual families. However as my mum would say don’t knock someone else unless you have really tried it.

Right am climbing back on my fence now, got an hour to kill before wake up time….

35 thoughts on “In Defense of the Gina Ford Mum”

  1. Do you know what – whatever works for you I say! Personally, I have to say that the Gina way wasn’t the way for me. I very much like to follow my instincts when it comes to parenting and for me at least, many if not all of the Gina ways are at a complete polar opposite to how my instincts tell me to look after my babies. I have to say too that for me, the idea of a parenting “expert” who doesn’t have any children of their own doesn’t sit comfortably. Being a carer is not the same as being a parent – the bond or instincts can never be the same if it’s not your child, you know? Or at least that’s how I feel.
    Sorry! I’ll shut up now! Like I say, not for me but hey, if it works for you then great! x

  2. I think you have to do what works for you. I’m not personally a fan of Gina Ford as I’ve used a baby-led approach with my daughter and i feel that i’m very good at interpeting her needs. But I also appreciate that I only have one child. Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job with your twins, they sound very happy and you’ve used her methods to suit you and not become slavish. It worries me when mums feel they’ve failed because they’ve followed her rigidly and their baby hasn’t “conformed” Well done, lovely post.

  3. That’s really interesting and I’m glad that ‘doing Gina’ has worked so well for you. I think that where it can sometimes go wrong is with less confident mothers who worry that their baby isn’t fitting the pattern so they must be doing something wrong, or can’t leave the house for fear of missing a nap slot. But if it helps rather than hinders you then great.

    Personally I take an attachment-type approach. The way I see it, babies are little mammals and sleeping next to their mothers is their ‘normal’ state. Luckily my husband broadly agrees; I think it could cause a lot of resentment if one parter wanted the baby in bed and the other didn’t.

  4. I have a good friend who was at her wits end with her colicky sleep disorganized baby until she found that book, she loved it. MY friend with triplets also followed it.

    I read it, and I also read its antethesis, the Dr Sears attachment parenting baby book. Both were too extreme for me, but the gulf of difference between the two respected experts made me realize how many “right ways” there must be to be a parent! I picked and chose my strategies!

    I have to say that I don’t think that Gina’s method is very compatible with breast feeding though, I’d worry that a 100% breast fed baby might not get enough milk on her schedules, since the nutritional value of one mother’s milk might be different from anothers, and that the mother may end up not making enough milk to meet the baby’s needs if the baby’s feeding cues are not followed during the early weeks. I think that is why midwifes don’t like it, as they really want people to 100% breast feed for 6 months. I’m not sure that is even possible with twins or triplets though, given how much time I spent with my singleton babies attached to my boobs I can’t imaine that it is!

  5. I know I referred to her as the evil Nazi woman in my blog but I do think that some of her routines are good. However I also think that common sense & individuality has to come into play. I was going to have set sleep times but forgot to read the book before labour. To be honest I was in denial (don’t be silly, I’m not having a baby) and didn’t get to read it until he was two weeks old. By this time the hormones were well in place & I couldn’t fathom why you would wake a child up if they’d only been asleep for 10 mins.
    Also the routine of when to eat sticks in my head: 8.15 you must eat cereal, toast & juice *now*. It seemed ridiculous. However, I have a friend who carried the book around with her from day 1 with both babies.
    I did however use her weaning book which was excellent!

  7. Personally, I never read any books before hand. I was to exhausted afterwards to read even a label on a food item. I never had a baby/toddler who slept. Nor has he even gone with anything I tried to impose upon him. Which is a shame, as while sleep isn’t high on his list of priorities. It’s top of mine.

  8. Hi,

    Just a quickie – I’m not meant to be blogging *slaps hand*.

    I’m not a Gina mummy because I’m not structured enough to be one. I thought that her routines were a case of ‘perfectionism’ – what everyone would/should do if they could manage it.

    I read one or two of Gina’s books. I had the big Contented Baby First Year (or something similar) and one other smaller handbook. The pages left me feeling uninspired and as though I was a failure before I’d even started.

    I breast-fed exclusively for 6 months and then followed this on until Kidder was 2 years old. I also did Baby Led Weaning and was a fan of on demand breast feeding.

    He slept when he wanted to and ate when he felt like it. I was a very tired Mummy but it worked for me because it was (to begin with) as unpredictable as I am.

    However, over time, we found our own routine (to rival Gina’s). We didn’t need to do everything by her book as we’d found one of our own and it was a routine that worked for us.

    For me, personally, that’s what my parenting skills were all about – finding out how to do it for myself rather than following anyone else’s instruction. Midwives/Health Visitors already made me feel like a failure and being a young mother was definitely a motive for them to treat me like shite.

    I did well with Kidder and I’m proud. I wouldn’t swap it for the world and I would never buy a Gina Ford book for anyone else or myself in the future.

    So, long story short, I agree. You’re right. Find your own way and run with it.

    Well done you – brave post *high five*. Love it.

    Becca x

  9. i used gina for a while but he just seemed so distressed (or was that me?) when it wasnt working that my other half made me bin it.

    Addison has never slept through (hmmmm) but he has his own routine and i am no longer stressed over it.

    i am glad it worked for you though.

    each to thier own.

    i may try it again next time…

    NEXTTIME? hahahahaha

    just realised what i said!

  10. I need to ask a question… I have a 9mo who doesn’t sleep and have always been on the fence about Madame Whiplash, er I mean Gina Ford. Am I too late to start now? I have the book but have never put it into practice 🙁

  11. I’m thinking my Mum (rip) might have given Gina some advice, as it appears I’ve raised my 3 babies the “Gina” way without realising.

    Nearly 12 years ago Mum told me to put my newly born baby in his room as soon as I came home from hospital & to distinguish between day & night for him. In the day feed & let him sleep downstairs, then bath, feed & bed at an appropriate bathtime, I decided 7pm was a good time to aim for.

    12 years on & I’m following the same routine with Baby, it’s worked for all my babies who have all done 7am to 7pm from 8 weeks.

  12. Unfortunately I am not a person who looks on the brightside, and so presumed I would have horrible collicky babies, and so felt that Gina Ford would give me some kind of teacher standing watch with advice. However, in hindsight, I think that her advice stopped me enjoying my first born, and spent most of my time worrying about the routines…

    At a point, Gina’s routines didn’t work for me and I looked elsewhere and found this fantastic Australian baby whisperer whose name escapes me now, who readily sent me advice and much more flexible routines and schedules that I enjoyed with both my first born son and then with my twins. By this point she’s written a book, and follows more of Tracey Hogg’s beliefs who I also liked as well. As said, you have to follow your heart. But in hindsight I wish I’d followed less schedules with my son because with my twin girls, there was only time to function not to get fulfilled..

  13. I think she’s a definitely a love her or hate her! I never tried her based on comments from friends but Sam seems to have almost got it sorted himself
    Ps this came up as in defense of the Gin in my email title when opening in iPhone. All that fits on the title bar. Haha! Got a shock when I actually saw what post was ;0)

  14. Hi Jane,
    I believe it’s ‘contented’, not ‘contended’ – the latter is about engaging in military campaigns, which might be apt, but is not really what Ms Ford was getting at… Still, makes for an interesting dual-meaning to your post, although it’s not as good as the one where you implied that all placentas should come with a Spanish Gentleman (a manuel, rather than a manual)…

    Yours pedantically,
    James

  15. Here here for each to their own – couldn’t agree more. GF never worked for me though. In fact I started off on No. 1 following her routine to the letter, and ended up co sleeping and feeding on demand….take that Ms. Ford!

  16. Both of my children (now 5 and 8) are Gina babies. It totally worked for me. I confess I didn’t follow it to the letter, but I found breastfeeding easy, sleep came easily and they both weaned like a dream.
    However, having said that I had many friends ask if they should try it and I knew it wouldn’t be for them.
    There is not right or wrong way, just the right way for you and you’re baby.
    I hate that there has to be a ‘camp Gina’ and a camp ‘you didn’t do that bloody woman did you?’ What does it matter as long as you enjoy motherhoo, get the most out of it and find a way which suits you? x

  17. I was going to say maybe it is twin mum thing but then realised I actually did Gina with JJ and yes he slept through from 6 weeks. Sorry don’t mean to sound smug but in my opinion if you use Gina’s method with a good dose of common sense (ohh and I threw a little bit of Baby Whisperer in the mix too) then it does work and your babes are happy and so are the parents.

    Mich x

  18. Each to their own thats what I say. I have never done Gina with Baba but I suppose really he has lead us, he has slept from 8 weeks through weaned at 6 months naturally. We have followed his lead. I knew that I couldn’t do Gina as I am too relaxed about things like routine etc. He has one but it is one he has fallen into.

    But I think it is the same as everything you just need a little common sense and then you will be fine! xxx

  19. With my first I referred to Gina but when it got to stressful stepped away from it. However I always dipped in to get hints and tips. With baby number two I am again following it but by no means to the letter (or minute). Some of what she says makes sense – mostly for me the lunchtime nap being very important and also the 10.30pm feeds. You have to use your own instincts but use books simply as guides.

  20. I used a very similar book – Baby Secrets by Jo Tantum. It really helped to refer to the book so i made some sense into what i was doing! After a while I stopped referring to it as often but still had it there if i was looking for advice. Whatever works best for you and baby is the key, every baby is different and you’ll both find the best way in the end. What i need now is how to keep your 3yr old in bed longer!!

  21. So glad I read this, my gina guilt is huge at times, but her books have taught be more than just a routine, the book and the sleep/feed routine guidance ( i was never strict to the letter) saved me from spiralling PND (thought i was a failure as a mother as felt i did not have a clue an dbeing 30 something i should have ) and also awakened my natuaral mothering instict as i didnt agree with everything she said, i learnt that the voice saying oh i dont fancy doing that was the instict that I thought was missing from me as a mother and bringing me down.

    Youve maybe seen from my intro on my blog that its only recently that I really trust in my instincts as a mother and me and toddlers are all very happy x

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