For those of you who read this blog regularly you will know that my littlest daughter has been asserting herself this month by competing with her twin siblings for providing blog content. She is beating twin boy hands down in the soiling yourself competition that they have going on; but to be fair age is on her side here and it is a harsh mother who can shout at a baby for pooping themselves. However a five year old boy is a different story!
So beautiful baby has been providing content in a much scarier fashion by having unexplained convulsions; terrifying to watch for both me and he who helped create them. Although the cool, calm and collected younger pair both seem to take it in their stride by simply dismissing it as ‘another fit’.
Today we got answers; bb has epilepsy, the word I have tried to avoid saying out loud for the last month. She will take medication for at least two years and faces a series of tests and brain scans in the not so distant future. As the doctor explained the procedures to me this morning my world started to fall inwards slightly. Then after some tears in the car, chats with 3am friends and my parents I decided to get a grip back on reality.
I have a beautiful baby daughter whom I adore, she is placid, delightful to play with and a dream to cuddle. She loves roasted courgettes which taste horrendous to anyone with a decent palate, she also likes to eat mobile phones, but only ones that work she cannot be fobbed off with an old knackered one. For kicks she likes to wake at two am to have a chat and some milk and for amusement she likes to wait until I am wearing a non feeding top and have a room full of people (normally in laws) before demanding a random, out of routine, breast feed. She is too long for all her clothes but not plump enough to fill out the next size so she always looks like we dress her badly; and yet she pulls it off with style. She has two marvellous older siblings who think she is the best thing since sliced bread. She doesnt laugh a lot but smiles for most of the day; when you do get to hear her angelic giggle it sounds like heaven in a can. She has just learnt to sit up and shows no signs of wanting to move which is a blessing is disguise for us parents. And she now has a condition called epilepsy. I don’t know much about it yet but I will soon.
Nothing else in our lives changed today (except that I may find it harder to get a babysitter in the next few months!) the only thing that has altered slightly is that my bb is now on a path to stop fitting altogether instead of having two worried parents who have been holding their breath waiting for the next seizure.
As my Dad would say, there are worse things that can happen. And as we all know – parents have that annoying way of always being right.
Thanks to everyone who has asked about bb in the last month – as you can see she is pretty much perfect.
Beautiful post. Having a name for what you have been fighting against is always the first step on your path to overcoming it. BB is indeed just perfect 🙂
Beautiful post, so much so it’s got a tear rolling down my face
BB is perfect indeed.
At least you know what you are facing now and can learn to live with it. Always better to know your demons. 🙂
Hope she stays happy with just sitting and not going anywhere for a while yet!! 😉
I don’t comment often, although I read your blog regularly.
And even now I have nothing profound to say, just wanted to let you know there is a lot of love and support for you and your family.
Big hugs to you all.
A beautiful post for a beautiful baby – I have tears in my eyes, but a smile too – wishing you love and support in the coming weeks and months. Gail x
What an emotional read… You are to be saluted for your strong positive approach. Much love to you and your gorgeous family xxxx
I’ve found myself thinking about bb over the last few weeks and hoping that she’s OK. It’s good to hear that you have a diagnosis.
And, although it’s new and raw today, in time it will be “because that’s just the way it is”.
My daughter has a severe peanut allergy that scares me, and she deals with it much better than I do. It also makes me appreciate her more (even when she’s not behaving like the most perfect child ever).
I really admire your positive approach and strength through this. Hopefully, now that you know what you’re dealing with life will become a little bit easier.
Oh what a beautiful baby she is, you are so lucky to have her! I hate to say this, but I agree with your Father, (easy for me to say I know).
You are an intelligent woman and I am sure you will do everything in your power to make sure BB gets the best and right medication.
My Friends son has not ‘fitted’ for over 3 years and he is now a strapping 17 year old.
Good luck to you all. xx
I just love all those wonderful things you’ve written about her – you should print them out and remind yourself of them if you’re ever at a low ebb.
Sending you my love and best wishes.
Trish x
Oh no, I’m so sorry. At least they know what is the matter with her and can start getting it under control. Breathe now.
A beautiful post – and so much truth in it.
Good luck to you all
She is totally adorable and so glad you now have a diagnosis. It is horrendous when you find out your perfect darling has a “condition” that they may have to live with for the rest of their lives – but at the end of the day, it is way better than them being constantly ill and not having a clue why. Good luck with the medication.
She *is* perfect. We all have flaws nobody knows about. Mine, for example, is my teeth. I smashed them when I was younger and have problems with them. BB’s is epilepsy. I had a friend with epilepsy when I was younger, and no one knew and she never had any seizures in public or school at all. My sister has a heart condition and my other sister, a chemical imbalance in her brain and needs constant medication but you would never know it. 😉 hope you got my babbled message out of that lot. Lol xxxx
Hugs.
And she is utterly beautiful 🙂
Get a diagnosis get medication get improvement. Guess that’s a positive. Hope your feeling stronger. Big hug xxxx
Like someone else said,I too am a regular reader,first time commenting. I have been wondering how things were progressing with BB and a diagnosis.
Your very lucky to have a supportative father and he is right. Epilepsy can be managed and controlled it’ll just take a little while for it to all sink in. At 11mths my daughter was diagnosed with a blood disorder. It took us 11 mths fighting to get the doctors to listen to me, I knew something wasn’t right (mummy knows best right).
For 5 hours we waited, knowing only that they’d detected something wrong with her blood, thinking the worst,praying it wouldn’t be lukeimia. So when they finally said what it was, that she’d need operations,blood Transfusions,life-long medication…. I was over-whelmingly relieved!
On the other-hand- my mother treats her like she’s got a disability which Is hard to swallow.
BB will be fine. You will be fine and your family will adjust.she’s happy and thats what counts x x
Oh hon I know that isn’t the best news to hear but like you say at least now the road to recovery can start. I have had epilepsy my whole life and other than taking a tablet and being unable to apply to fly bomber jets in the RAF it hasn’t affected me at all.
I am so glad they know what’s causing them
And that bb is on the road to recovery. She really is a perfect bundle of cute ness!! X
Our children are unique and I am so glad that you have some answers and can start working on processing things. She is truely a beautiful baby. You are blessed
Great writing on such a sensitive subject. I was diagnosed epileptic at 17yrs old and it was harder for my mum to accept than for me. After years of medication and hospitalizations I am now free of any fits for over 5 years.
Tiny is 4 months old and Bean will be 2 in March and I can’t imagine having to watch them go through what I went through. My heart goes out to you but I think you have the strength of heart to keep giving the best to your gorgeous family and yourself.
Huge hugs to you
TinyBean’s Mum xxx
Sorry to hear your ‘bad’ news, but that’s a great positive attititude to have! She looks like an adorable baby girl, & the good far outweighs the bad 🙂