I am depressed

I am officially depressed! Half term for me usually means a plethora of new blogging material; but for some obscure reason my children have refused to behave like performing monkeys and provide content for your amusement.

I can even confess that I am dreading the return to school on monday as it has been rather nice just crawling around at snail pace not rushing from drop off to pick up.

Admittedly stress levels were higher than average on monday when we attempted to get family photos done at Pixifoto. Twin boy seemed to develop some kind of ailment with his tongue which meant it kept flopping out of his mouth like the dogs does after a ten mile run. So all our photos look like we are a simple version of the brady bunch on a bad day.

Our photo session was cut short as well, as halfway through a ridiculous pose (which involved balancing all three children on a box and my five year old daughter assuming responsibility for holding my eight month old daughter which made me rather nervous indeed) twin boy proceeded to grab his backside and begin the ‘I need to go now mummy’ dance.

For those of you who need a more visual image; the dance involves one arm firmly wrapped around the body with the hand extended up the bottom area. Then the rest of the body is clenched into a robot like stature whilst the legs bounce madly up and down as if you were standing on hot coals. The dance is then completed by opening your eyes as wide as if you had just bumped into Robbie Williams naked and chanting loudly ‘I need a poo’ in time to the invisible beat!

Anyway the photographer nearly broke her neck trying to open the door so twin boy could continue his dance conga style out of the room across the shop into the toilet area. I followed closely behind with twin girl moaning loudly that we may not have time for her head shots whilst clutching baby beautiful in my arms closely inspecting the floor for any pellets that may have been shaken loose through twin boys trouser leg.

But the rest of the week has been uneventful and as close to normal as me and my three get. The rapid dog has legged it twice in an attempt to return to her southern home (we are hiding at nannies in the north at the moment) however both attempts have been foiled with biscuit bribery.

We even visited the aquarium and twin boy was so well behaved I restrained from throwing him to the sharks which had been my earlier threat when I have found him that morning feeding a whole roll of toilet roll into the toilet.

So all in all bring on the summer holidays – I’m ready for you!

Was that tempting fate?