spanked by someone old enough to be my dad

For the first time in three years I dragged my slightly fitter, coated in vaseline and Compeed body to a race today. Half term started in our house on thursday and I needed a break so a twenty mile race cross country seemed just the tonic.

I finished it!

Not with any style, grace or speed, but three hours thirty minutes after starting to run I stopped again with the knowledge that I had just sang and moaned my way around a ten mile circuit (twice).

Now I was utterly spanked by people fatter and thinner than me and I think I may have been lapped by someone old enough to be my dad but they still gave me a medal at the end so in my children’s eyes I won the race! I have done nothing to disillusion them of this fact either!

The last six miles were hilly and a couple of times I seriously contemplated diving in front of a St Johns Ambulance in order to put myself out of my misery. I continued on only because I didn’t have the physical strength to dive in front of anything.

Following the race I paid five pounds for a student young enough to be my son rub my legs whilst I frantically tried to remember when the last time Mr Bic gave my legs a kiss. My adolescent masseur tactfully asked if I was disappointed with my time, I said I was living with it and tactfully asked if he had tried tea tree oil.

All was made harmonious that night when I laid on the bed; smiling like a good happy that twenty miles had been achieved with eight more weeks to go till the london marathon. Then twin boy wandered in swinging my medal in his hands.

“Mum” he mused “I am really proud of you!”

I don’t care who bribed him to say it but it made the pain in my legs all worthwhile!

Want to sponsor me for my marathon efforts?

Go to www.justgiving.com/jane-blackmore