tap dancing through a thunderstorm

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I am trying to find the happy today, my maternity leave is finally over after a rather splendid year with the small ones and I just can’t help but feel a little glum.

Actually for the last two hours or so I have felt pretty darn miserable hugely exaggerating the situation in my own mind and moaning like I am about to leave the children with the wicked witch of the west instead of the person they adore as much as me; aka he who helped create them or as they call him – daddy.

Its hard though as I have adored every second with my babies, ok maybe not every second; the labour bit was painful; several long car trips have been unpleasant and me and all soft play centres need some time apart. But all in all sitting on my arse playing with lego for a year has been; well; quite comfy.

And don’t get me wrong I am almost drooling at the thought of a hot cup of tea, in fact I may even intentionally scold myself with it just for the novelty factor. And as for lunch, I am excited at the prospect of having one without shoving the hoover round in my spare hand. Worse case is I will have a computer in front of me, best case is I will be dining out!

But still I am feeling teary and tired; nervous about juggling with three children and one rather busy job, (not to mention the dog and significant other!). I feel like I am not sure who I am again, mummy or manager, and as yet I can’t remember how to be both.

So I will tap dance through this thunderstorm and wait for the sky to settle and the rainbow to emerge and calm to descend upon me and my brood once more.

 

**By the way my little blog has been shortlisted in the MAD blog Awards; I am really flattered, if you want to help me win please click on this voting link and enter your name and email and my blog has been shortlisted in Best Mad Blog about Family life (the first one); just click ‘northern mum’   – Thanks from me, twin boy, twin girl, BB, and he who helped create them x x x

33 thoughts on “tap dancing through a thunderstorm”

  1. Ah bless ya. I only have one child, love my job, and still found it daunting going back. The though of it is far worse than when you actually do getting stuck in again and let things sort themselves out.You’ll get there . . .keep on tapping. xxx

  2. Dance away Dancing Queen. Enjoy having a wee without an audience, having money and knowing you are setting an amazing example to your lovely kiddies. Remember am here if you want a cry. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. Big hugs. It’s very difficult but wonderful that you’ll know they’re with Daddy. How very modern and equal opps of you both.

    Soon you’ll be like Tom and I who LOVE the weekends but 8.30 on a Sunday we enjoy a glass of wine – and the toast?… ‘here’s to the week!’

  6. Awww…that nearly made me cry :-). You’ll be brilliant! Enjoy the hot cups of tea, adult chat and sitting down. Just think, you’ll still be home to help clean up after tea :-). x

  8. I went back a month ago to a job I loathe, and despite all the tears and tantrums and awful shoutiness that I ashamedly performed for days (maybe weeks) beforehand, it really wasn’t that bad. It’s good to concentrate on something other than feeding / napping / nappy changing etc for a little while. And getting home in an evening is just the best thing in the world! Good luck I’m sure you’ll be fine

  11. I really valued the headspace going out to work gave me. Admittedly, I wasn’t doing 4 days, just two – but not having some peace to think sometimes was fab.

    I think the first day is always hardest. Once you’re over that, and everyone survives, it will get easier and easier.

  12. Aaw, hope that first day went well…I just sent in a job application today, so I could be following you back into the workforce soon. How I’ll manage I have no idea x

  13. I am in awe of all you Mummys who balance their working and home lives. I dont have children or work for that matter and I still struggle with coping with everything, I take my hat off to you and wish you luck – I hope your first day went well. XXX

  14. Best of luck with your return to work, and as has been said above at least you know the smalls will be with Daddy. I can’t imagine a morning interacting with other people without having to break into song at some point!

  16. Hey missus, having my Wednesday night blog catch-up and saw you’re back on the workforce. Hope it was a good day with many scalding cuppas, two-handed lunches, answerable questions, and solitary loo breaks x

  17. Oh good luck with it, I hated my first month back but after that I enjoyed reclaiming my non-Mummy identity. Long lunches are good and my favourite was being able to go to the toilet regularly rather than hopping up the stairs at the end of the day!

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