Menopausal Mind Mash

It is like being stuck in a Groundhog Day of Catchphrase.

”Say what you see, just fricking say what you see!”

Easier said than done when you are mid forties and firmly gripped in a mid life mind mashing menopause.

Today I tried to ask my daughter to pass me the milk.

It went something like this…

”Please can you pass me the…

ummmm

it’s white,

it’s in a bottle, the man brings it about 4am.

it is from a fecking cow.”

I have known what milk is forever, I can even sign “milk” but this morning the menopause mice decided  to nimble that word away from my fogged brain.

The easiest solution may be to just have my tea black.

It isn’t just the loss of words that has impacted me this week; the menopause has been fully on the ball.  Luckily for me, I have been ordering photos to ensure my memories are up on the wall in a beautiful canvas format.

The heatwave has been brutal for us all, but imagine the heatwave plus a hot flush.  My thighs have been two smoldering volcanos ready to erupt at any point. Plus the bloating has been real, or possibly caused by frequent visits to McDonalds – the only place locally offering air conditioning….

The mood swings are seriously sabotaging my ability to navigate through a 24 hour period without cruising with crushing anxiety for a few hours, followed by soaring sadness as I discover yet another dead fly on the windowsill.

Funerals are daily at 4 for anyone interested.  Dress code is floaty and cool, lank sticky hair as a result of a hot flush perfectly acceptable and don’t worry if you forget – the flies will understand.

My mind is menopausal, my bladder bollocked, my brain fried.

Someone once said life begins at forty, that’s because by 45 you can’t remember anything before then, so you take what you can get in the memory cells….

The milk was irrelevant in the end, I forgot I had made a brew….