To clarify, my nest is not fully empty. I still have a gorgeous 14 year old who I think is as bewildered as I am by the silence in our house.
And to confirm, the twins are absolutely glowing so far in their new chapters, living life, hopefully studying, and grabbing opportunities by the balls and not letting a moment pass them by.
Which is what I want for them.
In classic Law of Attraction – I already knew I would find their departure to University life hard. And since I believed it before they went. it has of course come true.
I miss them.
Plain and simple.
I am fully immersed in the empty nest syndrome.
I love that they are having an incredible time, and I quietly sob in their rooms. The boy child’s room doesn’t even feel like his as its the cleanest it’s been for months, there is no point in sobbing without running the hoover round at the same time.
It’s such a confused feeling, because I raised warriors and explorers, and I also knew the plan, the win was for them to go live their lives, study, travel, have fun – soak up every frigging moment.
They exceeded my expectations.
Yet, my emotions are simply “empty”, like a balloon that has been leaking out its essence and ultimately shrinking to a frail version of its former self.
I’m finding to hard to find the sunshine momentarily.
But I am down, not out.
I know the it’s important to rest a little with this feeling, not to ignore it. I am allowed to be sad, my kids are pretty incredible and not seeing them (or yelling at them) daily was always going to have an effect. I probably need to ease up on checking their social media hourly for updates. I think the constant WhatsApp may be getting on their wicks.
And I know it is important to move on from the funk. Just give me a few more days. I have filled my weekends to the max, I have a fourteen year old to indulge in some serious mum time (she may or may not enjoy this.)
I knew it was the twins next chapter, I don’t think I realised how much writing I would need to do for my own.
I know others feel this way, and my advice to them would be – get busy, fill the silence, prep yourself for when they come home.
Come Monday I am taking my advice.
Till then, I’m just enjoying the fact that I love so hard that it can cause such emptiness in their absence.
(Although I can get used to the house being this clean….)