In season 6 of Sex In the City, Samantha reveals she is 45 years old.
45….
Two years my current junior.
I calling umbrage with the programme (despite being a MASSIVE fan).
Because, quite frankly, those ladies made dating look achievable.
Which perhaps it was the New York difference, but for a 47 year old living in South Yorkshire, England. Dating is anything but achievable, or even enjoyable. The four ladies all found sex in the city, I simply want a decent date in Doncaster…..
No Mr Big has appeared from Bumble to take me out for Cosmopolitans on the town.
I just had Dean from Hinge ghost me when I suggested we spoke on the phone.
And eHarmony promised me love, whilst making me sign to a years online dating subscription….
Sex in the City told thirty something year old me that dating would be an option for me in my forties.
Reality is delivering a far more alternative tale..
So, I may have left it a little late to look for Mr Right. However bringing up 3 kids and a menagerie of animals, and starting a business, and working in other businesses has stolen time that could have been dedicated to love hunting.
However, I would then be skint, the kids wilder, and the animals malnourished.
So I am cracking on at 47.
Looking for the one to set my soul on fire, and add to my already rather wonderful life.
Feck my life, its hard.
Meeting people “normally”?
I beamed at Bob, the Ocado**** delivery guy on Monday morning and he asked if I was feeling ok, so my flirting clearly needs work.
(****I feel the need to explain here. I am an ALDI girl, who got a serious discount for Ocado this week so I took them up on it. Bob and I both know our paths will never cross again – he realised that instantly when he saw I dressed almost exclusively in Asda’s discount aisle.)
Online dating.
Wow.
Give me the option of plunging my naked body into a pool of piranhas, with braces on, in public; verses going online and chatting to strangers on online dating, and I can tell you – it is a close call.
Last week, Richard from Sheffield asked me on message two, if I was prepared to be a sub for him. I replied I didn’t think I could masquerade in his shoes at his office, and then was consequently blocked.
I chatted to James from Doncaster, who asked me what my biggest turn on was, in message 3. I replied, the dishwasher emptied and the dogs walked before 5pm and fell to the same “contact removed” status.
And I thought I was funny, in fact my profile says I have a GOSH…..
I don’t think Samantha, Carrie, Miranda or Charlotte faced these challenges.
In fact, according to Wikipedia, Carrie met Mr Big accidentally on the streets of Manhattan.
I have tried to replicate this accidental meeting with my true love, however I have hung around on a street corner waiting for love so much that the neighbours are starting to think I have a new profession. Not helped when I tried to reassure a curtain twitcher that I was indeed, just waiting for my Mr Big.
So where is he, this man of my dreams?
I’ve knocked on the doors of Hinge and simply found horror, I’ve tried Match and simply met incompatibility. I’m looking forward to Halloween as all the ghosts may be too occupied to bother going online.
If anyone sees my Mr Big, simply point him to my street corner….
I’ll be waiting!