This ones for me

This ones for me.

My memory is letting me down, things I thought were far too important for me to ever forget are being lost. So this post is for me, I am writing to remember as some things are just too lovely to forget.

The sense of pure unadulterated joy I get each morning I enter baby beautiful’s room and she greets me with her silent movie smile.  Too little to reach up to be lifted out she relies purely on her beautiful toothless sunshine beam to work her magic and each morning the day starts with an armful of love. 

Watching twin girl as she enters a room for the first time and seeing that wave of nervousness in her eyes.  Then feeling my own insides warm up with pride as I see her physically shake off the childish apprehension and bound over to the nearest friendly face and start to play.

Twin boy desperately trying to learn how to swim leaping and splashing through the pool calling out to me  ‘I’m doing it, I’m doing it.’ With each mouthful he takes in half the pool and looks like he is drowning, he’s not; my boy is swimming (without style).

The way twin girl silently leaves the room when she is tired and returns with her raggedy nellie that she has loved as long as she can remember. Watching her curl the toy between her fingers whilst sucking softly on her thumb her eyes drooping fighting sleep.

Seeing father and son roll around on the floor both as daft as each other, roaring with laughter and the occasional wince of pain as they ‘wrestle’ each other gleefully.

Letting baby beautiful fall asleep at my breast as bed time approaches, stroking the innocence on her cheeks.

Hearing ‘I love you’ from twin boy and girl never fails to make me light up like Black pool and I must hear it about ten times a day.

Watching them scoff sweets after dinner whilst waiting in anticipation for the sugar to kick in and the merry go round to start again.

Creeping in their rooms when they are all asleep and marvelling at how bloody lucky I am.

Curling up in the night in comfortable silence to the best daddy in the world.

This is my memory, long may it last.

9 thoughts on “This ones for me”

  1. “Creeping in their rooms when they are all asleep and marvelling at how bloody lucky I am”……. I am sure we all do that, then struggle to remember the feeling during the next stressful day until we can creep into the bedroom the next time for another fix of angelic peacefullness.

    And no-one can ever hear “I love you” often enough. Mine are all too grown up now (27 & 30) but those words still count, in both directions. Thanks for a thoughtful post Jane.

  2. A few of those would make it on to my list too. Tiddler is always such a smiley boy when you get him from his cot in the morning. Miss Muffett used to go to a playscheme during the school holidays and she was exactly the same as Twin Girl – apprehensive but then just getting on with it and making friends. She’s just the same even now as a teenager. Unfortunately due to Nipper’s Asperger’s he doesn’t really ‘get’ emotion very well so we’ve never had an ‘I love you’ and we have to settle with an occassional ‘I like you’ instead.

  3. I too love gazing at my boys while they sleep, and I feel so overwhelmed with love. some nights if Isaac has had a bad day, my heart does twist a little, and I stand and stroke his hair and whisper that it will all be Ok and say a silent prayer to whoever might be listening. When they are asleep and all crumpled, and angelic looking, its seems impossible to forget that feeling x

  4. It is just these little moments which hold so much joy. And you’re right to catch them in a journal, so they don’t get forgotten.

    I’m visiting from blogger.ed – good to link up with you.

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