The ‘h’ plan – guaranteed to shed the lbs

I have discovered a new diet. Its called the ‘H plan’, it really works although some consider it extreme.

Basically you need to have a child in hospital, the nauseating worry means you don’t feel like eating half the time and when you do feel a bit peckish the NHS cooking can manage to curb your appetite.

Although in saying this, baby beautiful can’t seem to get enough of the meals here, forget the organic goodness I give her at home; my youngest is clearly a smash and tinned custard type of girl. And to be honest while we snuggle up on the ward my girl can have whatever she likes.

The twins birthday bash went well. Although you don’t know loud until you have heard forty five year olds scream in excited unison. My ears are still ringing as I type.

We managed to successfully return all children to their owners, only one was bleeding and all left high on additives clutching more cake and poorly assembled party bags containing a mix of glo sticks and e-numbers.

I filmed the whole event so one day when he who helped create them has offended me some how I will tape him to a chair and make him watch it. If he really upsets me I will tape his eyelids open for the Hokey Cokey. There a couple of scary bits where we almost lost a small child under a blanket of left feet.

Twin boy and girl worked out that with forty guests they each had forty presents to unwrap and both coped well when I suggested they wait until tomorrow when bb and I come home from hospital. Clearly displaying their new found maturity at the tender age of five!

All my babies big and small are snug in bed, two dreaming of discos and magic tricks and one of fields of milk.

Let’s hope they are all under one roof tomorrow.