I know what you look like.
No matter how small you are, when I think about you, I have a perfect image that forms in my mind.
You are tiny, but this doesn’t make you any less vicious. You have thin spindly legs, and feet that are calloused and rotting from the excess sugar that feeds your existence. Your body bulges on top of your matchstick thighs, making you seem ridiculous. Your skin is an eerie green that shimmers slightly as you run across my daughters skin leaving traces of glucose. Dark patches glisten where infection resides under your outer layer, the infection that is man-made insulin. Your mouth is greedy, your teeth are long gone and your gums are bleeding from overdosing on sugar. Yet still, your eyes are hungry, the desperate addiction sits behind them glows in fury.
Late at night, when sleep escapes me, when my daughter is running high sugars because you are cheating the rules once again, I see you. In my mind’s eye I see you laughing, high on glucose, leaping over the injection sites that scar her body, creating lumps so she can’t use them again. I imagine you pushing hard against the needle as it breaks her skin, forcing out her life saving drug as it makes your drowsy and incomprehensible.
I know you wait for dark, that is when you make yourself known to us, that is when you scare me most.
In the daylight hours, we are your master, we can make you disappear.
You wait for a child to sleep before you enact your revenge, before you fill her with sugar, destroy her insulin. You drive her blood sugar readings high into the twenties, causing her to wake from sleep, hot and confused, thirsty, tired, overwhelmed with the need to use the bathroom.
You attack her at night, and then she struggles through the day.
You cheat, you break the rules, you are trying to hurt my baby.
But I see you, I watch you limp when we manage her ratios well, I watch your gums bleed. I see your skin start to darken, and I know we will beat you.
Did you hear my daughter this week?
Did you hear her at her diabetes clinic when she was tested on you?
She knows all about you, how to control you, how to manage you, she also knows you cheat, break the rules and have no respect for fair play.
Did you hear what she said when the nurse asked how long she would live with Type 1 diabetes for?
“Until I am 18 of course.” was her reply.
I saw you raise a bruised eyebrow and a dirty smile tainted your foul lips. You were mocking what you saw as ignorance.
The nurse looked crestfallen, she had answered every other question with knowledge far beyond her years.
“What do you mean Molly?” he asked.
My daughter brushed her hand over her leg, over her favourite injection site, I watched as you fell off her skin and struggled to climb back on board.
“When I am 18, someone will have invented a cure, or if not I will.”
I watched as your smile faltered, as you shrunk a little smaller, as you realised that you chose the wrong opponent in my daughter.
Trust me, your days are numbered, my daughter will beat you.
A very powerful post – it has moved me to tears. It made me feel the pain of this hideous battle but also made me feel so positive for the future, you’re brave, clever daughter to be very proud of – so determined that I am sure she will be true to her word and find a cure.
Thank you for sharing.
Great writing. I hope they do find a cure, for your strong, brave daughter and everyone affected. xx
Oh Jane that’s a goosebumps post. Bless your amazing daughter, and praying she is right!
An amazing post – everyone should read it!
she’ll beat it alright x
Brilliant. Love that she already knows her own mind. Maybe she will be the one to cure it, wouldn’t that be amazing! But it’s great to know she’s already managing it so well x
Xx She’s a fighter – gets it from you! Loves ya xx
You have such an amazing daughter, I have no doubt she’ll do it!
Her mothers daughter! Sending love Jane as always
She’s a determined little girl – and I don’t doubt who will win. xxx
You must be very proud of your daughter. It needs a fighting, determined spirit like hers to find a cure for the disease.
Amazing post, you clearly have a little fighter there – sending big hugs x
Wow, that was powerfully written. I bet she will find a cure too, she is as determined as her mum” good luck little one!,
oh Jane…i hope a cure will be found…diabetes is such an ugly illness. ig hugs x
What a powerful post, ad an eve more powerful daughter you have. Fair play to her. x
WOW Jane, you are wonderful and your daughter more so, I really don’t how I would cope with something like this and if I did I hope I have your strength and my child the same as your children xxx
I love your attitude towards something that must be so difficult Jane, but most of all I completely and utterly love your daughter’s attitude, how fantastic she is! 🙂
Blimey Missus, your writing just gets better and better and your daughter is bloody amazing – as are you. xxx
Powerful writing, Jane. See, you don’t always need to be humorous for us to find you compelling.
Wow such a powerful and beautiful post. You write so well about something which many people can’t comprehend. Your daughter is an amazing and inspirational young lady. You must be very proud x
A powerful post fuelled by a powerful mother and daughter, I admire her spirit and determination, diabetes better start running…
What a brave little girl. I really hope that she’s right and someone finds a cure very soon x
I welled up at what she said. She is so much stronger than this enemy is.
Wow. I’d put money on her doing just that – unless someone beats her to it. In a way I hope she gets the chance to do it herself though. To tell diabetes exactly where to go. Good luck to her. x
Brilliant and powerful….. you two are such a fabulous mother and daughter team. X.
I got a lump in my throat reading that Jane – you’ll beat it together x x
Awww Jane. Molly is amazing. xx
Thanks everyone x x x