Lost: one sex drive
I have looked everywhere, under the bed, in the fridge, even in the garage and no success. I did manage to find a mouldy tomato, a long ago forgotten set of pyjamas and my collection of Bros Records but my sex drive remains hidden from view.
Its here, it has finally arrived. Hours, days, weeks of waiting have passed. Sometimes the agony of being patient has been almost too much to bear but my endurance has finally paid off and it has come.
There are some key advantages to being five.
I thought yesterday was going to be a normal day, I didn’t know it was going to be one that would shape the rest of my life for ever. I didn’t know that I would face today a new woman with a renewed purpose in life.
Dear teacher,
I feel we have formed a bond over the last five weeks and I can move past writing to you in diary form and just address you direct. I am here as the ghost of school days future, appearing in front of you as warning to appreciate the present and don’t do as I did and waste the time you had. You know how twin boy and girl went to stay with their nanny for two weeks and he who helped create them and I got to stay home alone with beautiful baby; well guess what I did?