living with Mary feckin Poppins

The chap I married is not a morning person. He takes exception every morning to having a five year old creeping into his room between five and seven and asking in a booming voice,

“Is it waking up time yet?”

He typically does a strong impression of a corpse at this point in order to not have to deal with said child. I can physically feel his body freeze into rigor mortis as the door handle starts to turn.

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I am being made redundant….

Being a BOTTOM* is hard work I’m finding.

Let me talk to you about separation anxiety.  The most agonising thing for a parent to endure as you leave the house and your baby holds our their arms to you and wails sorrowfully as you exit stage right to earn some pennies.

Well this is what I have been told about separation anxiety; I have yet to flipping experience it first hand…

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